Reaching Out

I am just beginning this little book by Henri Nouwen and can already tell it is - unsurprisingly - a gem.  A quick quote from the early pages on loneliness:

"No friend or lover, no husband or wife, no community or commune will be able to put to rest our deepest cravings for unity and wholeness. By burdening others with these divine expectations, we might inhibit the expression of free friendship and love and evoke instead feelings of inadequacy and weakness.  Friendship and love ask for a gentle fearless space where we can move to and from each other.  As long as our loneliness brings us together with the hope that together we will no longer be alone, we castigate each other with our unfulfilled and unrealistic desires for oneness, inner tranquility, and the uninterrupted experience of communion."

Reaching Out is an exploration of the spiritual life and the inflection points of spiritual growth - learning to live in healthy relationship with our innermost self (moving from loneliness to solitude), with others (moving from hostility to hospitality), and with God (moving from illusion to prayer).    

Lilly's Gown

3 weeks may sound like a long time to make an infant dress, but for an overthinking, overachieving human like me (with an already full plate of responsibilities), it didn't feel like enough time to imagine, research, design, source, and create Lilly's gown.  Still, it was important enough to give it a go.  I began with a rough sketch of my vision for the gown, including a list of potential sewing elements and symbolism to incorporate.  I wanted this gown to be a treasure of beauty and craftsmanship, as well as a comprehensive storybook of life with Christ.   

I knew what pattern I wanted to use for the base design, but forgot that it hadn't survived the 2012 downsizing.  That led me to conduct an extensive online and in-store search for any pattern that would provide the right foundation and which I could alter to fit my vision.  I was excited to discover an unused envelope of Simplicity 7488 - my original intended pattern - on Etsy!  Isn't the modern marketplace a wonder?

I've been out of the sewing groove for more than a decade now, but I had previously used Simplicity 7488 to construct a very simple gown and coat for a male infant of a close friend.  The gown was simple and the overcoat had very little embellishment.  It was lovely but simple, following the original pattern. 

After finding the pattern online, my next discovery was that the fine fabric shops that used to grace St. Louis, no longer exist.  There are quilting shops all over town but none that carry heirloom quality fabrics any more (at least not that I could find!).    If you sew, you'll appreciate my strong hesitation to order fabric online without TOUCHING it.  I mean...that just isn't done!  I finally found The Children's Corner, an online version of a shop I became familiar with back when I subscribed to Sew Beautiful and Creative Needle magazines.  I determined it would be safe to order fabric from such a reputable shop.  They were gracious enough to overnight all 8 1/2 yards of handkerchief linen they had on hand so I could get started. 

Choosing entredeux and laces from photos on Etsy felt very risky because lace needs to be seen up close and in person to really assess the quality of the product.  In the absence of local sources, I scoured reviews, crossed my fingers, and took the plunge with HeirloomSewingDesign...and it paid off.  

I then ran around town for a variety of notions and other items I didn't have on hand and discovered that even some "basic" quality sewing notions were impossible to find locally.   Of course, this to untold hours of imagining how I might quit my job and open a specialty sewing shop in The Lou.     

I wanted Lilly's gown to be long, and to incorporate pintucks, entredeux, French and English laces, lace insertion, smocking...ALL the things I've drooled over for years but have never actually done!   I'll spare you all the details of the process, but  I took 10 days off of work and devoted hours to tutorials and experimentation that I hoped would equip me to produce the desired result.  The gown has several imperfections and flaws (which would be easily spotten by an experienced seamstress, but less obvious to the general population).  Though hard for me to accept in my natural drive for perfection, in the end I was able to let go of that need and be content with the gown - flaws and all - as a labor of love.  

I initially considered using my wedding gown to make the overcoat, but in the end, this gown didn't NEED a coat.   I used my gown instead to make her under slip and bonnet.  

Ultimately, I was only able to incorporate a single symbol into the design.  My inexperience and lack of time meant I was unable to tell a more comprehensive story, so I settled on the Celtic Trinity Knot, as a slight nod to the Irish history on both sides of the family but, more importantly, as a testament to the reality that the One in whose name Lilly is being baptized, is essentially communal.  She is brought into the life of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and made a member of Christ's Body - his Bride (thus the "fancy white dress").  This is her defining identity...belonging to Christ and his people.  My prayer for her is that she will grow to full understanding of that as she experiences the joys and sorrows that lie ahead, and that she will embrace it with gratitude and humility. 

Birthday Blooms

Look what I discovered as I walked out my door today to go to work...my first sunflowers awake with their faces absorbing the light! A welcome sight as I commemorate 21,900 trips around the sun they love so much.  

This one is at least 8' tall!

And...there are a dozen or more to come!  Aren't these buds glorious?!