Liberated Woman

I have been set free! I have a new lease on life. Best of all, I have my house back.

Yes, this is about the dog...my final post EVER about The Dog.

Simon was picked up by his new family on Friday morning and the transition was smooth and easy. It was made easier by seeing the joy in the little girl's face, and how Simon responded warmly to his new master. After he left, the fun began...

All my doors are open now and no rooms are blocked by gates. I don't feel the urge to leave or avoid my home anymore because I dread the dog's presence. Additionally, I spent 1 1/2 hours cleaning the lower half of our breakfast area. I knew I had chilled out on the whole cleaning thing because it had become an exercise in futility, but I did not realize just how much filth had accumulated! Afterwards, I stepped back and remembered why I used to keep a clean house...it was a great feeling just to get 1/2 of one room REALLY CLEAN!

Simon's new family confirmed this morning that they are really enjoying him...everyone is happy! Even me! I think this may be the best decision we've made in a long time...in spite of those "friends" who would ridicule me as hard-hearted and disturbed (RH).

At least I am disturbed and FREE!!

SOLD...to the Highest Bidder!

O-K...they were really the lowest bidder...oh, yeah, and the ONLY one.

So now I have to face my children this afternoon and tell them the news. I guess I'll console them by saying we can watch Simon whenever his new family leaves town...and maybe a "Love-It" from Coldstone won't hurt, either. I'm gonna be attempting to buy back their love for a long time!

I promised I wouldn't sent this dog away, so Steve is acting like it's his deal, but I don't think they'll buy it. He really DOES want to get rid of the dog, for the same reasons I do (he's not really being cared for), but I'm sure my complaining is influencing the decision as well. To make the boys and me feel better, he is surmising that his allergies have been worse since Simon moved into our household. That may be true, but bottom line is, everyone knows this decision is about MOM.

I FEEL SO GUILTY (can you tell?), but I gave it a good shot...I keep telling myself that I have made many other sacrifices for my family, but this one is too big...I just can't do it...and that's O-K, right?

The sad thing is: this dog worships me. I am his favorite in the household. Wherever I am, he wants to be. I know I'll be sad too, but mostly for the boys.

Well, H family, ENJOY!! He's all yours!

Don't Forget!

He's actually FREE to any family we know...and 1 has already expressed interest...better hurry!!

Dud'n he jush wook sooo shad...poooor puppy!

For Sale: One Cockapoo

Yeah, yeah, he's so cute...how could I ever give him up?

Nobody plays with him...takes him for walks...keeps up with his health...bathes him except by force...yada, yada, yada...

Bottom line: We're NOT dog people

This is Simon. He is almost 2 years old and weighs about 30pounds. He is house-trained and is eager to please. He is obedient and even knows a few "tricks." There is nothing wrong with him, just with us.

Are you dog-people? Can you give this dog a good home? We'll strike you a bargain! Yes...I'm serious...he's for sale.

Just Shoot Me!

All I want is a few minutes alone...is that too much to ask? I want a little time to complete a coherent thought so I can write my second installment of "On Rhetoric." My boys are spending the night out, my husband has been snoring for nearly 4 hours already, but am I alone? NO! Because another male invaded our home about a year ago in the form of a D-O-G. As if my daily life didn't provide enough opportunities for sanctification already!

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His food stinks. His breath stinks. His poop stinks. He, however, enjoys taking a whiff of it. He vomits in my house, then eats it right up again...I mean, does he really think that the rock will digest properly on the second go around? He doesn't brush his teeth. He doesn't take a bath. He doesn't clean up after himself. He doesn't carry his dirty dishes to the sink. For crying out loud, he can't even get his own bloody drink! He simply doesn't carry his weight around here...and speaking of weight...he's over (as the vet informed me, with great consternation.) Then he has the audacity to require "well-puppy" visits so this same smug vet can charge me $90 for vaccinations. Oh, and he's not so well afterall...he has allergies - yes, you heard me correctly - allergies...you know, the kind with sneezing, rashes and bouts of diarrhea. I don't just have a dog, I have a "special needs" dog! When we leave town, he requires "doggy-hotel-reservations" which cost nearly as much as "human-hotel-reservations." Only we humans don't get a report card with ours...I mean who wouldn't want to know that their "pwecious wittle doggie" participated in the bark festival, dreamt about us at night and socialized appropriately while we were away? (since when is brown-nosing socially appropriate?!)

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And on top of it all...HE FOLLOWS ME! I want to be alone. I just want to be alone...oh, now he's whining...excuse me while I let him out to defecate where my children play. Somebody just shoot me...and please, be accurate.