Le Cafe

Le Café

by: Lori Waggoner

Palm to palm.

Eye to eye.

Sharing black coffee

And fresh peach pie.

Life In A #MeToo World: Part 1 - One Woman's Experience

Her mother, at age 4, was sexually abused by a relative.

Her innocent 7 and 8-year-old sisters encountered an exhibitionist neighbor who exposed himself to them while they were riding bikes in the neighborhood.

Her 11-year-old sister was approached by a pedophile who pulled his car up to their house under the guise of asking for help while exposing and stimulating himself.

Her 5th grade friend was sexually assaulted by a third friend's father while the three spent the night in his home.

Her intellectually disabled aunt was sexually abused as a teen by one of her trusted primary care givers.

Her 16-year-old sister was pursued and propositioned by a trusted youth pastor.

Her teenaged friends and acquaintances - well over a dozen of them - were pursued, propositioned, and abused by this same youth pastor who retained his position of authority.

Her high school Bible teacher sexually abused multiple co-students.

Her pastor sensually massaged her shoulders while teaching her how to develop film in a darkroom at age 13.

Her boss forced her against the wall and pressed his middle-aged body into hers while praising her 21-year-old figure.

Her roommate was raped and murdered in their shared home.

Her friend and co-worker was assaulted and raped in the safety of her own home just two weeks later.

All before her 25th birthday.

She doesn’t yet talk publicly about the second 25 years in order to protect those who aren’t ready for exposure, but abuses of sexuality and authority have remained a consistent thread in her narrative.  As you might imagine, she sometimes finds living and loving in that world a wearisome task. When her struggles appear to me to be unnecessarily prolonged, I step back and see the slow-growing good that signals light, and growth, and  glory, and transformation and know that even her small victories are hard won mercies.

She trusts slowly, but continues to engage the world around her.  

She is a fortress of defense mechanisms, yet labors to be vulnerable. 

She tirelessly uproots bitterness so it will not choke out beauty in the garden of her heart. 

She is predisposed to fight but desires to be gentle.

She expends a great deal of energy taming her pervasive cynicism with intentional gratitude.

She appears tough and strong and self-sufficient, but mostly to guard the underlying fragility.

She fiercely longs for that day when “everything sad will come untrue.”

In the meantime, she strives to shed light in the dark spaces and be a conduit for healing and hope for the vulnerable.

I know this about her...

Because She is Me.