The Existential Angst of an Unemployed 53-Year Old

On September 17, my 18-week sabbatical from gainful employment came to a halt.  I spent the early days of those 18 weeks in a state of mild existential angst that is probably more appropriate for a 22-year-old.  Who am I?  What is my purpose at this juncture of life?  What am I seeking?  What does God want from me?  What am I equipped to do?  What kind of work suits me? What are the desires of my heart?  How do those things line up with what is necessary (like paying the bills)?

I came to a very simple conclusion:  I want Joy, Rest, and Good Work.  These are good things in keeping with my Created design, so there is no reason not to seek them.

Joy grows in the soil of gratitude for the good gifts of life, especially healthy relationships and meaningful participation in community.

Rest comes from recounting the way the Lord has taken care of his own (including me) in the past.  This remembrance calms my restlessness and gives me confidence about the future.  

Both joy and rest are formed and nourished by the liturgy of Christian worship, and shape our way of seeing, understanding, and being in the world.  The ritual of being received into the presence of a Divine Father, joining with the saints in praise and confession, being assured of absolution, hearing God’s voice through the reading of His Word, giving thanks together around the Table, being sent out with a blessing to do good work; there is a beautiful mutuality, a giving and a receiving in these rituals – these acts transforms us from “bent hnau” into creatures with a eucharistic “bent.”  They foster joy and rest.

Defining Good Work was more complex but, ultimately, I concluded that for me, Good Work brings flourishing to the community, nurtures souls, furthers Christ-centered kingdom life, and shines hope in the midst of brokenness.