On Rhetoric IV: Abundance of Expression

Too often, early instruction in composition requires students to simultaneously invent original thoughts, arrange them logically and express them effectively. This expectation is unrealistic at best, and generates a level of frustration and discouragement within students, which often results in hatred of the writing process. Combining invention, arrangement, and expression into a cohesive whole is a highly advanced ability which should be reserved for the Dialectic and Rhetoric stages of learning. 

Our students are better served when we separate these processes, allowing the child to focus on refining one at a time. Where do we begin? We begin with "copia." In addition to perpetual reading - as discussed in the previous post - how can we develop this "abundance of expression" referred to by Erasmus? Classical methodology relies heavily on teaching these skills through imitation.

Rather than ask students to create original thoughts, plots or opinions, we select stories, essays, and passages worthy of imitation...those written in an exemplary style which we would like our students to eventually achieve. At about the 4th-5th grade level, we utilize the fables of Aesop or LaFontaine, classic fairy tales, myths, and Bible narratives which students are asked to re-word or re-phrase using one or more of these processes:

Using a double-spaced copy of the story, the child writes an appropriate synonym above as many words as he can. If time allows, the student usually loves to read his version aloud to an "audience" because he has created his own "original" story...it is new and different, but he has copied a master and therefore his end-product will be worthy...not some incoherent, sloppily planned, implausible story which no one wants to hear!

The child is asked to re-phrase 4-5 sentences from the story in as many ways as he can, by choosing synonyms and altering word order.

The child is asked to take a single sentence and change it, utilizing specific kinds of phrases and sentence openers. 

For example, when my 5th graders were reading Where the Red Fern Grows, I had them rewrite the sentence "Old Dan ran into the woods" 40 different ways based on criteria I gave them.  

1) Old Dan dashed into the woods. (strong verb)

2) Old Dan, our coonhound, ran into the underbrush. (concrete noun)

3) Old Dan dashed into the ominous, black forest. (quality adj)

4) Old Dan ran tentatively into the woods. (quality adv)

5) Old Dan, who wanted desperately to tree a coon, dashed into the woods. (who-which clause)

6) Old Dan ran into the woods because he caught the coon's scent. (Because Clause)

7-13) "www.asia" Clauses (these stand for "when, while, where, as, since, if, although") - do one for each

14) Impulsively, Old Dan darted into the woods. (Opener "ly": adverbial)

15) Panting, Old Dan disappeared into the underbrush. (Opener "ing":participial)

16) Frightened, Old Dan dashed into the dark forest. (Opener "ed": past participle)

17) After Billy gave the order, Old Dan darted into the woods. (Prepositional Phrase Opener)

18-24) www.asia Clausal Openers (same as above, only used at beginning of sentence - should be different, of course)

25) Why had Old Dan rushed so quickly into the forest? (Question)

26) Old Dan ran into the woods. "Come back!" shouted Billy. (Dialogue)

27) Old Dan sprinted. (VSS: very short sentence 3-5 words...for effect)

28) Old Dan stopped. He listened. He took off. (3SSS: short stacatto sentences)

29) Old Dan shot into the woods like a bullet from a gun. (simile)

30) Old Dan was a speeding bullet, disappearing into the woods. (metaphor)

31) Old Dan dashed daringly into the darkened forest. (alliteration)

32) Swiftly, Old Dan ran into the woods. Swiftly, he pursued the coon. Swiftly, he caught his prey. (Triple Extensions: Words)

33) Old Dan ran across the road, through the fields and into the woods. (Triple Extensions: Phrases)

34) Chasing, howling and panting, Old Dan chased the coon into the woods. (Triple Extensions: "ing")

35) Old Dan, willingly, rapidly and confidently dashed into the forest. (Triple Extensions: Adv)

36) Young, fearless, impetuous, Old Dan rushed into the woods. (Triple Extensions: Adj)

37) Old Dan ran through the dirt, grass and leaves into the underbrush. (Triple Extensions: Nouns)

38) Old Dan smelled, pursued, and treed his coon in the woods. (Triple Extensions: Verbs)

39-40) I forgot the Openers "because" and "who-which"

NOTE: Andrew Pudewa, author of "Excellence In Writing" coined many of these phrases and utilizes them, though somewhat differently, in his program.

Some students love the challenge of finding 40 ways to say the same thing...others become bored or frustrated with it. When that's the case, provide a new sentence for every 10 alterations. This is an excellent exercise to do aloud as a group, because all benefit and receive ideas and motivation from those who are creative, have large vocabularies, or excel with words. It's fun too! 

The point is to teach students that there are many ways to express the same idea...the facts in the "base" sentence never changed.  Through this exercise, students also learn to use a variety of sentence styles, which is designed to can help them avoid endless repetition of the monotonous Subject-Verb-Object, S-V-O, S-V-O pattern in their own writings!

Another way to utilize these 40 elements of style is to either have your students find examples of each in their literature book, or YOU find them and ask students to identify which they are. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of pointing out techniques of structure and style within actual books/stories. Eventually, students begin to see that all really good authors utilize similar elements of writing. This also prevents these drills from becoming mere busy-work for you or them! It really is purposeful!

Enough already! More next time on "abundance of expression" through imitation.