Do Not Fear

I climbed onto the first platform with only the slightest twinge of hesitation.  No fear...just a fleeting thought that maybe I was foolish not to be afraid, and a passing question whether I might be suddenly and unexpectedly stricken with panic.  Perhaps I'm not so bold as I used to be and am deceiving myself with a long-standing bravado which I no longer possess.

The native guide, whose only English seemed to consist of, "No brake", didn't allow much time for musing.  He quickly fastened me to the line and shoved me off the platform.  In spite of the fact that I obeyed his "No brake!" order, I cruised, rather than zipped, down the first line into the Costa Rican jungle.

I discovered, to my relief, that I really wasn't afraid afterall.  The fearless, risk-taking version of my younger self still lives! 

At the other end of the line, another native was waiting and wondering what I thought.  "Too slow!" I answered.  He was a bit surprised and offered me the option of taking the next run upside down.  He was even more surprised when I answered with a resounding "YES!"

The whole experience was delightful for me.  The zip lining, the rappelling, the climbing, the scenery...truly delightful.

Later that evening, alone with my thoughts (a scary place to be at times), I began to wonder, "Is there something wrong with me that an experience like this generates absolutely no fear in me?"

Sure, when I was 17 and rappelling in Chattanooga, I had entrusted my life to a couple of "responsible" 19-year-old males without much thought for my life.  But isn't that characteristic of youngsters who subconsciously view themselves as invincible?  But what about now?  I have children who, on some level, still need their Momma (don't they?).  I've also spent years nurturing my life-long tendency toward skepticism and cynicism, both of which normally leave me suspicious and untrusting of people.   So why in the world would I unhesitatingly trust my physical life to complete strangers with whom I can not even communicate on a basic level?  I can't answer that question!  Maybe I'm missing those brain cells that are designed to signal danger...I don't know.  Maybe I'm less frightened by physical death than the "living death" that sometimes results from trusting others with my heart and soul.

What I do know, is that I wish I could learn to be that trusting in other areas of my life!  Most of the time, I don't even trust the Lord...you know, the Sovereign Faithful One who repeatedly declares, "Do not fear!"  He has proven Himself time after time to be thoroughly trustworthy.  Yet still, I find myself afraid of where He might lead me, where He might allow me to go, what trials He might send me (either by way of my own foolishness, or by His own omniscient hand).

Surely by now I should know, from His Word, from His ways with His people, and from my own observation and experience, that I need not be afraid!  That which seems frightening or insurmountable today may very well be the means by which He exalts Himself, or humbles me, or brings someone else to acknowledge His glory.   His intentions toward me are not ill and He can be trusted! 

I KNOW this.  But my self-absorbed, short-sighted vision blinds me to His inscrutable purposes and often leaves me fearful.  Yet how much more has He proven Himself worthy of being trusted than some young Costa Rican tour guide whose character is unknown to me, but into whose hands I readily placed my life...and death!

Do I not believe that:

He has graven me on the palm of His hand!

He gathers me to himself as a hen does her chicks!

He is my Shepherd who leads me on a level path!

He is with me when I pass through deep waters and flames!

He hides and covers me under the shadow of His wings!

He is a strong tower into which I can run and be safe!

I want to learn to trust Him as naturally and easily as I trusted Manuel to get me safely through the jungle!  I want to be able to boldly declare with the Psalmist:

"God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore, I will not fear...though the earth gives way and the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea; though the waters roar and foam; though the mountains tremble at their swelling." 

Those are some pretty drastic circumstances in which to proclaim, "I will not fear!"  But His promises to be with me, to lead me, to carry me, to deliver me, are many and sure!  I have no reason to fear and every inducement to be still and rest in Him. 

May it be so.