I'm sure you're all dying to know whether I am indeed the criminal the Creve Couer police officer took me for. As a matter of fact...he had the wrong person. The crime was committed, not by me, but by one Lori Waggoner - Oh wait!! That IS me!
In my criminal past, that is...before I married and amended my ways... apparently I wrote not 1, not 2, but 3 bad checks. The first was for $1.07. The second for $4.87. And the third - the one for which there is a warrant for my arrest - was written for a whoppin' $10.97!! This, my friends, constitutes a misdemeanor! All 3 were to Wal-Mart in Camdenton, Missouri, where my little sister lives. Each was written on or around November 27, 1991...the day before Thanksgiving. I was moving back home to St. Louis after many years in Chattanooga and on my way I had stopped to visit with Vicki and her family. The best I can figure, I wrote those checks as I passed through and then closed my Chattanooga account before they went through. That would explain, I suppose, how I could have written these "bad" checks without ever knowing about it.
All I know, is that my call to the Camden County Sheriff and the subsequent call to the Circuit Clerk yesterday, provided a good deal of amusement for those with whom I spoke...after they learned I hadn't actually been arrested, that is. I guess it is rather comical to imagine a middle-aged mother being hauled off to the slammer for a 17-year-old offence of fewer than $20!
It seems that advances in technology have led to the dissemination of data which was previously unavailable, which explains why I had no prior knowledge of the warrant. Fortunately for me, it is easily and inexpensively resolved. For some reason, they're unwilling to take a check from me, but they will accept 2 money orders. For a mere $51.91, my criminal record will be removed as far from me as the east is from the west.
Apparently, money DOES talk. Who knew?
11 comments:
Great to hear you won't be needing a "bail out!" Just think about how stimulating to our economy that $51.91 will be, too. Our nation's economic woes are solved!
That is really quite funny and such a good ending!
All I have to say is that is one lovely picture. Why not make a Christmas card out of it and send it to all your friends this year!
Anonymous - if the $ wasn't going to the government, I might agree with your assessment! ;-/
Thanks Jeff. I worked hard at making an attractive mug...I wanted mine to be easily distinguished from all the others. I was going for the "hardened" criminal look...not sure I quite achieved it!
This is going to make you famous. That mug shot is going to be worth something.....someday.
Clay wants to know if you need some money? And he's very disappointed with you.
Oh, and this is April using Clay's name, oh dear, is that a crime?
It is indeed a thing of beauty, is it not, Clay-April?
And I understand, Clay. I'm disappointed with me too.
Way to funny. The picture is priceless. You are one mean looking dudette. Joanie
Lori...I couldn't help posting something on your blog after I read your story of criminal mischief. :-) Had I only known you were pursuing the life of a hardened criminal I would have stayed in closer touch. I hope you are doing well and recovering from your judicial system experience. Drop me a line when you have a spare moment.
Yeah, Richard, you could've been the one bookin' me in the slammer, eh?
Great to hear from you! I look for you regularly on Facebook and have been hoping to reconnect. Glad you found me...I think. Why in world did it have to be through THIS particular post? yikes...
How can I reach you? Are you still with the Robert Johnson Wood Foundation? Ever in STL?
O-K...I just re-read that and I do know that it is the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation...I've heard the name millions of times on NPR, but it's almost 4am and I had a brain freeze episode.
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