A Family Well-Ordered

Man, your family is a pagan family if it is a prayerless family. And the children going down to the place of dragons from your family will pour out their execrations upon you in the bottom of hell until the very heavens are no more. (p. 20)

I am here to tell you that the vengeance of eternal fire will be the portion of unditiful children after all. Children who cast contempt upon their parents will be cast by God into the vengeance of eternal fire at last, and into everlasting contempt. (p. 31)

Thus says Puritan author and leader, Cotton Mather, in his pamphlet "A Family Well-Ordered."

Now, some of you may chime in heartily, "Amen! So let it be!" But if you're anything like I am, you find this rhetoric more than a little abrasive. You may even be put off by it. I admit that the Puritans mystify me. They are portrayed by some as dour, uptight, severe legalists who perpetrated irreparable damage on the church's reputation, while others tout them as some of the most astute students of Scripture and contributors to sound Biblical doctrine and theology. I've not read enough of their history or their writings to draw my own conclusions yet...although my hunch is that something of both accounts is accurate and the truth lies somewhere in between.

Even though I find Mather's tit-for-tat emphasis on blessing and cursing - for both parents and children - a bit extreme and out of balance with the overall Scriptural tenor of prevailing grace, he nevertheless offers some sound advice that all of us can take to heart.

The Duties of Parents to their Children:

1. Consider their condition. Are you solicitous that their bodies be fed? You should be more solicitous that their souls may not go without the Bread of Life. Are you solicitous that their bodies may be clothed? You should be more solicitous that their souls may not be naked, without the garments of righteousness.

2. Improve their baptism. Do not let it be done as an empty formality...no, but let the serious language of your souls in this action be that of Hannah - "I have given this child unto the Lord, as long as he lives he shall be given unto the Lord." You must, as soon as you can, show them that when they were baptized:

a) They were listed among the servants and soldiers of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that if they live in rebellion against Him, woe to them!

b) They must observe all things whatsoever Jesus Christ has commanded them to do.

c) They are buried with Christ in baptism and must live no longer in sin.

d) They have put on Christ and must follow His example.

e) They must now make answer of a good conscience to all the proposals of the New Covenant.

3. Instruct your children in the great matters of salvation. And what they hear in the evangelical ministry, do you apply it unto them after they come home? Confer with them familiarly about the things that have been handled in the ministry of the Word till you see that they have gotten clear ideas of them.

4. Rebuke them and restrain them. Keep up so much authority that your word may be law unto them. Nevertheless, do not let your authority be strained with such harshness and fierceness as may discourage your children. Our authority should be so tempered with kindness, meekness and loving tenderness that our children may fear us with delight, and see that we love them with as much delight. Mercy must be joined with severity.

5. Lay charges upon your children.

a) Believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

b) Consider your ways.

c) Pray.

d) Forsake foolish companions.

6. Set the example. Your works will more work upon your children than your words; your patterns will do more than your precepts; your copies more than your counsels. You bid them well, now show them how!

7. Pray. Address heaven with daily prayers that God would make your children the temples of His Holy Spirit, the vessels of His glory. Often in a day dart up this prayer to heaven: "Lord, let this child be Thy servant forever." If your prayers are not immediately answered, do not be disheartened.

The Duties of Children to Their Parents:

1. Reverence. Do not take your parents lightly or despise their counsel.

2. Obedience. The commands and directions of your parents must be of exceeding moment with you.

3. Recompence. Repay them by making it your highest design to return joy and comfort unto them.

These are some of the wise words I found in this "essay to render parents and children happy in one another." If the above summary intrigues you, you can pick it up and give it a read for less than $3! Or just borrow mine. ;-)