Grace Upon Grace

According to the physicians' best guesses, Jeffrey should have entered the sleep of death a month ago. At the dawn of 2009, he was given 3 months to live, yet here he is!

I have to admit that the prolonging of his life has not always stirred up enthusiasm in me. In fact, after his trip to the Grand Canyon and after the predicted "Day of Doom" had passed, I entered a couple weeks of despondency. The continuing emaciation of his body and the lingering chill made many of his days long and painful. I began to cry out to the Lord wondering why He wasn't rescuing Jeffrey from his misery. Don't misunderstand me...I don't want my brother to die. But he will. That this cancer is going to get him is certain and I was weary of waking each day wondering if today was the day he would take a turn for the worse. Every ring of the phone anticipated his death. I wanted to move on...to know how it will feel to have him gone...to know how his wife and children will handle it...I wanted to grieve and move on with life.

Thankfully, the Lord understands our frame and thankfully he doesn't answer every plea with a yes!

Since Easter Sunday, I have been made aware of multiple mercies and answers to prayers, both small and significant, that the Lord has been pleased to bestow upon us....even in the midst of this great sorrow!

Jeffrey wants to live as many days as he can! As sick as he is, he still has a will to live and be with all of us. Each day he is here is a blessing to him.

My parents have had precious times with him recently that have brought them great joy and comfort.

For these 8 months, all of his family's needs have been met. They have not gone into debt or been left wanting. The generosity of so many has upheld them.

Broken relationships have been restored, both within and outside of the family, as a result of his illness.

I, and others in the family, have had the chance to get to know Jeffrey again and to say important things to each other.

We've had the privilege of observing Jeffrey's courage, stamina, perseverance, grace, dignity and peace as he walks through the valley of the shadow of death.

Jeffrey planned to be cremated, but has instead agreed to have a viewing, funeral and full military burial. We were able to obtain an extra set of dress blues so that his original Marine uniform can be preserved for his sons.

Dawnn has been an angel of mercy, ministering to his every need, day after day after day.

We've been reunited with some of Jeffrey's old friends, and have learned that several of them have become Christians since "back in the day."

Those are just a few of the blessings. Others are too personal to share, but hopefully you get the idea. In circumstances which could not seem to bring anything other than sadness, we have been surprised by joy. This week I've had this line from a Sandra McCracken hymn running through my head, "In every turning He will prepare you with grace upon grace."

Indeed. The Lord has, and is continuing to, prepare us and shower us with grace. We appreciate all your love and prayers.

Addendum: Jeffrey officially came under the care of hospice on Thursday and all treatments, other than pain management, have ceased. My prayer is that the Lord will draw near to him and that he will be comforted...especially regarding his family's future. That is the one issue that brings him great sorrow.