There's a relatively new driver in our home. Grant turned 15 way back in November, but was less-than-anxious to get his license. What?! He's a BOY!! Aren't they typically chomping at the bit to go on their very birthday so they can get started? I don't know...chalk it up to an obsession with football and basketball....and...uh...homework? He did. "I'm too busy." Whatever. After a couple months, I began to worry that some essential portion of his brain was malfunctioning...perhaps missing altogether!
So what does a mother do when she discovers that yet another portion of her male child's brain is out-of-order? Like any good diplomat, she strikes a deal with the boy. Well...OK...I actually imposed a demand in such a way that he thought we were making a deal. Clever, I know. He must be qualified to drive on his own the day he turns 16, which means...he must acquire his permit by May 15, and accumulate the required # of practice hours. Period.
The first time he told me he was ready to take his test, I, being the prescient Mother I am, asked a simple and rather obvious question: "Have you read the Driver's Handbook?" He admitted omitting certain insignificant and boring parts. "Oh! So, you read the parts you determined were relative to you??!! I don't think so, Buster. You WILL be asked some obscure question on that test, trust me. READ THE WHOLE BOOK COVER TO COVER, then come see me." As any dutiful 15-year-old son would, he objected, "But, Mom, EVERYONE takes the test twice and..." (he throws in as a bonus!!) they'll let you take it twice IN ONE DAY, so if I don't pass the first time..." The look in my eye shut the boy up.
But just in case he misinterpreted the eye, I invoked my high-pitched, surely-you-jest voice: "You will not take the test twice!! I am not paying for you to take the test twice...and don't even offer to pay for it yourself...you will read the whole book, you will memorize the whole book and you will pass the test THE FIRST TIME!!" His "OK" was accompanied by those distinctly sad, slumped shoulders of a dejected teenage boy who - God only knows why - has been given the toughest, most-insensitive, least-gracious mom in the wide world.
The boy read the book. The boy memorized the book. The boy took the test before May 15...barely. The boy passed the test...the FIRST time...with a perfect score. Those shoulders were definitely not slumped as he exited that license office. Oh yeah, he was pretty proud of himself! Not sure he ever said, "Thanks for being so hard on me, Mom," but I'm sure that in all the excitement of being behind the wheel, he just forgot.
2 comments:
I have to admit, when I read some of your Facebook entries last week I wondered why in the world, out of all the things you could read, you were spending your time on the Drivers Handbook. Had someone stolen all your books and you didn't have means to get to the library or bookstore? Did this constitute a real emergency, and if so should I offer to bring some books out to you? Well, brilliantly, I have connected the dots.
You've got one fine son there...well, two, actually. He did himself AND you proud, you mean, overbearing mom, you. :-)
Your comment anticipates tomorrow's post...which is connected to my FB entries. Shhhh....
And thanks for being hypothetically willing to rescue me from hypothetical distress. Hopefully you'll be as accomodating when I encounter a legitimate crisis!
Who's MeeMaw YaYa? :-)
Post a Comment