I Have a Dream 6

It's been awhile since I shared one of my delusions of grandeur and I know ya'll are eager to analyze my psyche based on all my unfulfilled dreams. So here you go. Have at it.

I want to learn to play a musical instrument.

Yep. That's it.

I love music. I grew up in a musical household. My sisters and I sang together in church from the time I was 3 years old until I left for college. And we sang in the kitchen as we did dishes...we sang on the long car rides from Chicago to St. Louis (OK...it's a long ride when there are 8 of you crammed into a Hatchback VEGA!!!)...we sat around the house and sang. It was what we DID!

My eldest sister, Sherre, is quite an accomplished pianist, organist and vocalist who has spent years perfecting her technique and skills in all three.

My second sister, Pam, is naturally gifted and can pretty much play any instrument she puts her hands on. She hasn't "studied" at all, but in addition to possessing the highly coveted "perfect pitch," she can hear any song and duplicate it on the piano.

Though these two were the "star" musicians of the family, my younger three siblings were all musically inclined as well. Vicki sings, Richard plays guitar and trumpet, and Jeffrey was quite the drummer.

So...you ask...what happened to ME? Well. When Sherre, Pam and I were about 10, 9, and 8 (I was the 8-year-old), we took piano lessons from the same teacher who delighted in writing trios for us to perform at recitals. Trouble was, when we practiced, I was ALWAYS the one who goofed up. ALWAYS. That's not the figurative "always" which means regularly. It's a literal "always." Just ask the sisters. I wasn't really terrible...I just wasn't as good as THEY were. Given my current perfectionistic tendencies, I'm surprised I didn't work harder to overcome my deficit, but I really don't remember trying that hard. I DO remember getting tired of being the kill-joy and, as soon as I was allowed, I quit piano. I can't say that I regret it necessarily, but I do regret that I didn't take up something else in its place.

I love good music. I really love to sing, but I have this little problem called "nerves." Even when I'm performing with a full choir, I lack confidence and tend to become very nervous. When that happens, my voice cracks and my breathing is short and shallow. So you'll never catch me singing solo...and if I have to sing in a small group, I prefer my company to be strong, confident male voices who can carry the weight.

Over the years, I have considered taking up several instruments, because (as I was ridiculed for saying to my sister, Pam) "music is IN me...I need to get it out somehow." My nervous/breathing issue eliminates the possibility of all wind instruments...unless I only want to play in private. But music is inherently social, right? Right. Strings it is then.

The stringed instruments that fascinate me the most are the dobro, the banjo, and the mandolin. Mandolin would be my first choice. So, what is stopping me? I have this fear of failure...plus I wonder if I am driven enough at this point in my life to push myself to conquer the thing.

Chris Thile (pronounced "teeley") of Nickel Creek has been a profound influence on my love of mandolin music. Here's a brief clip of him performing "Ode to a Butterfly," one of his many original compositions. Doesn't hearing him make you wish YOU could play the mandolin too?