This is a rather morbid post, but in some strange way, it's therapeutic for me.
It came over me tonight for the first time in a while. My sweet niece posted some old family pictures on Facebook...and suddenly there he was. Our Jeffrey. The baby of the family. Gone. Forever.
Most of the time it seems like "that didn't really happen." Perhaps because, before the cancer, I only saw him a few times per year...so he's not really gone, I just haven't gone down to visit in a while. I just need to go see him. That's all.
There he is! Alive! Healthy! Hangin' with his bro. But that will never be again. No more conversations. No more laughter. No more silly faces. No more pictures.
And no more pain. No more sorrow. No more sin. I know. But the finality of death sometimes creeps up on me...though more often it blows in fast and furious like a storm and the reality comes over me cold, hard and fresh.
I cry.
And I think of my Momma.
And I think of his babies who will only remember him as a face in a picture, not as a living, breathing, loving daddy.
I cry.
And I think of my Momma.
And I think of his babies who will only remember him as a face in a picture, not as a living, breathing, loving daddy.
I miss him. I just miss him.
8 comments:
I wish I had words like you. You just speak heart language. You are gifted with truth speak. Keep telling the story of your brother, your everyday life, and Jesus.
Ohhh, sister. I have felt that pain. Yes. It's like that. Looking forward to the day when all our tears will be wiped away.
Lori,
it was great seeing and talking to you last night...as always.
i lost my baby brother just about 40 years ago. He was 11 years old and had leukemia. I think about him often.
What can of man would he be at 51 years of age? I also think of my deceased mom and the immense pain she went through of losing a child.
I then look at your "boys' and my 2 kiddos and I am so grateful for all of them. Even with some of the heartaches they may have caused,they are still here to see and touch and pray for.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
Yes, Lori, thanks for sharing your heart. That is just ONE of the really beautiful things about you. When you mourn the loss of your brother, we mourn, too.
I very tentatively put myself out there with an emotional post like this...and you all make me glad I did. You all have blessed me with your kind words. Thank you. It's helpful for us all to know the roads we travel have been traversed by others whose faith has remained intact and that when we rejoice and when we weep, we don't do it alone.
May the Lord bless and keep each one of you.
Between two advents. Waiting. Expectantly waiting, hoping, eager for Resurrection.
Yes, indeed.
Very well spoken with your golden fingertips, my Dear!
I am glad you think of your Momma during these times, as well. It is good to know that our hearts dance together at times like this.
I miss him, too!
Love,
Momma
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