So You Had a Bad Day, 3

At this point, I'm pretty much ready to string up my husband. Where's the blasted bill of sale? Why don't I have an insurance card? Why did we keep these bloody tags?

So, while the officer investigates, I call said hubby to let him know what's up...see if he can give me any info that might get me out of this mess.

The officer approaches again. "Ma'am, is that your son?" He points to Grant who is in the front seat.

"Yes, sir, both of these boys are my sons."

"I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and come with me, please."

"Uh...O-K." (Internal monologue: Crap! I look ridiculous...how humiliating! What the hell did I do?!!)

"Ma'am, have you ever been to Camden County?"

"Missouri?"

"Yes, Camden County Missouri."

"Maybe...is that where Lebanon is?"

"Probably."

"Well, if it is, then yes I have."

"There is a warrant for your arrest in Camden County. Are you aware of that?"

"WHAT?!! That's impossible!"

"No, Ma'am it isn't."

"What for? What is it that I'm meant to have done?" (Broadway line there...anyone?)

"It's for fraud...probably a bad check."

"Impossible. I go there to visit my sister! That can't be me. You must have the wrong person! When...where...why haven't they come for me before now?"

My mind is spinning, my heart is pounding and my legs are shaking. He proceeds, "You are the right person. This is tied to your SS# and your address. 5'5" 115 lbs.?"

Relieved for the first time ever about my body mass..."Oh, no, sir! That's definitely not me! I do NOT weigh 115 lbs!"

"But is that what your license says?"

The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!

"No, sir, I'm one of those rare HONEST people who tell the truth about my weight on my license." (O-K, I didn't say THAT...I just told him the actual weight listed on my license, which quite frankly, is none of YOUR business!!)

He also jumbles my birthdate by a couple of days, and I correct him. He sends me back to my car so that he can investigate further.

I tell the boys that he wants to arrest me. They express the appropriate shock and awe.

And again, I call my husband. This time I ask him to contact the school and let them know his children will be late....VERY late...which he obligingly does.

The officer summons me out of the car once more (he apparently does not want my children to know their mother is a criminal), and very kindly informs me that if my children weren't with me, he'd be arrestin' and cartin' me to the slammer at this very moment!! Instead...

He advises me to call Camden County and get this straightened out because it's my check, my Social, and my address, but with discrepancies on the DOB, height and weight. Then...

He lets me go. Yep. That's right. I guess the terror in my eyes was enough to awaken compassion so that he didn't even write me a ticket for any of my legitimate offences!!

As he turns around and pulls past me, he stops. I roll down my window. "It just came up on the computer here...this incident was in 1992. The name on the check was Lori Waggoner."

I swear under my breath. All that drama for a 16 year old check? Surely you jest!

The mystery remains. I'll find time later today to contact the Sheriff's department in Camden County and see if they can give me details on my supposed offence. Seeing as I was married and living in CA at the time, I'm hoping it will be easily resolved.

So, my "Bad Day" hasn't been so very bad afterall...just a little traumatic!