Tuesday, June 2, 2009

For Want of Wit: 6

So. We're sitting at a Christian school auction, my husband and I, with a table full of friends from church. The auctioneer announces that they are now auctioning off a puppy. His helpers bring this teeny-tiny, darling Cockapoo out for everyone to "Oooh" and "Ahhh" over. And they do. Suckers.

Let me tell you, there was a royal bidding battle such as I've never witnessed over that li'l thing! At least 3 spoiled ladies were determined he was gonna be all theirs. One of them finally won out and secured herself a bundle of trouble for a mere $1200!

Then...as auctioneers often do...he announces a SPECIAL SURPRISE!!! Little Mr. Puppy has a wittle brudder who also needs a home. Awwww....! So, which of these ladies will win out this time, we wonder.

Hey! Just for fun (and since everyone at our table is ribbing me about sending Winston away), let's get in on the beginning of the bidding war. Ha ha ha! Won't that be funny?! So...the bidding starts at $400. As my husband raises his card, the table bursts out in hearty laughter. And we laughed and laughed and laughed until we realized that NO ONE else was gonna bid on this puppy!!! The spoiled little ladies were offended at not getting the first one and wanted nothing to do with this little guy. WE WERE THE ONLY BIDDER ON THAT DOG!!!

And for a mere $400, we took him home with us. Oi-vay.

I tried to envision how thoroughly overjoyed my boys would be and how fully they would forgive me for getting rid of Winston. Maybe this is my way out of that pit, I deluded myself.

This time we settle on a name together: Simon James Alexander Ragsdale III. (thanks for that, Sandra Boynton!) We call him Simon, for short. Isn't he adorable?


I lasted 18 months this time around. And then...I did it again. Yep. I gave this dog away too. The smell...the dirt...the way he looooved and followed me around...the vet appointments...the shots...the allergies...the training...THE ABSOLUTE LACK OF HELP FROM ANY MALE SHAFFERS!!!...all led to this poor, sweet little puppy being sent away.

Will I ever learn?

STUPID.

10 comments:

jennifer h said...

Thanks for the great photo of Simon. I've never been able to get one as cute of his face up close.

He is a pretty sweet dog. And, remember my comment from yesterday :)

Anonymous said...

That is one cute pooch, Jennifer.

I'm tempted to say something like "it takes a blind, heartless knucklehead to get rid of a fine dog like that" but that would be rude.

Angie B. said...

I did the same thing...got us a dog, kept it for a few years until I couldn't take it anymore, got rid of it. But--I only went that route once.

I think you should have dragged your husband away from the auction before the bidding ended, then left the country for awhile.

Man, I can't wait for "Stupid Things I've Done 7."

Lori Waggoner said...

Anonymous...how brave of you.

Yes, Angie. Unfortunately, some of us are slower learners than others! I could have left my husband at the auction and skipped town all by me onesy. THat would have been more effective... Glad I could entertain you with my crazy, mixed-up life!!

Rhonda said...

Oh, Lori. That (anonymous) was me. I'm sorry...just teasing with you. Thought for sure you would know it was me and call me out on it. :-)Please forgive me. I'll even call my dog bad names if it will help!

Trina Waggoner said...

Lori, isn't that the lil dog you tried to give me...BUT your Brother would have nothing to do with my BEGGING, I tried, glad someone other than YOU has the dog, DOG hater that YOU are... , and I say that with "all due respect"!! haha. Rhonda, don't call your dog bad names! Lori would probably enjoy that!! Hee-hee

Rhonda said...

Thank you, Trina, for your support. I am soooo afraid of your sister! ;-)

Lori Waggoner said...

Rhonda. Let's get one thing straight here and now: Of course I KNEW it was YOU, and if, after all the trouble I've given you over the years, I am hurt and offended by THAT....I have a more serious problem than I realized. Enough with the "sensitive" side of you...it doesn't fit very well. :-)

Oh, yeah...and I love you!

Trina - yes, dear. That's the one you tried to take from me, you DOG LOVER you! Ya'll people ain't NEVER seen a dog lover until you've seen my SISTER-IN-LAW, Trina!! She gives full blown pedicures to her pooch and hand sews his clothes, blankets, etc. He even has a smoking jacket and doggie cigars... Serious. She's nuts.

Trina Waggoner said...

THATSRIGHT!! and you forgot his orange hunting vest, OH, yeah and his life jacket, I'm laughing right now because the way you put it Lori it does sound like I'm nuts....still laughing, love ya!!

Lori Waggoner said...

Now I'M the one laughing Trina!! You crack me up...and you ARE nuts, dear. It's the reason I love you!