I Did Hereby Highly Resolve...

I'm sure all of you remember that a year ago I made a whopping 3 resolutions at the beginning of 2009: one for my aging body, one for my aging mind and one for my heart. You may also remember how conflicted I am about the whole concept...if not, feel free to go back and remind yourself...or just read this summary:

Pride and shame are the primary motivating factors necessary for New Year's Resolutions to carry any weight, right? If you don't announce them, there's only YOU to hold yourself accountable...and how scary is that? Not scary enough. But if you DO announce...once you put yourself out there, you gotta follow through or everyone will know how lame you are. On the other hand, if you put it out there and over-achieve, you risk alienating everyone because they feel intimidated by your resolve to better yourself. The trick is to find that happy medium. I think I did, and I know you've been dying to know how it came out for me.  Right???

My resolution for my aging body (which I politely kept to myself...OK, I don't do anything to "be polite"...I didn't reveal it because I really didn't think I could keep it!), was to re-establish the existence of my clavicle. I actually succeeded at this one.  I began walking in March and...wah-la!! The clavicle has been unearthed. Check one off for me in the success column.

The resolution I made regarding my heart (which details shall still remain obscure)...well, that was a failure of epic proportions. And the weight of that utter failure makes the success of the first resolution fairly meaningless. Ooh...downer, huh? But at least if you were feeling badly about yourself, you can now feel better. 1 complete success. 1 complete failure.

Then...there's that commitment I actually detailed for you. The one where I intended to stimulate my aging mind by memorizing something new every month...poems, Bible verses, hymns, etc. I didn't exactly meet this one. I came close enough to be satisfied with my progress, but fell short of perfection, thus leaving you with a sense of my commonality, thereby allowing us to remain friends, no? I memorized - and retained (my children quizzed me yesterday!) - 11 out of the 12 months.

If you care, here's a recounting of what this old brain added to its hard drive this year. This was a FUN resolution and the fact that I had publicized it definitely made a difference in my efforts to keep it!

JANUARY: Lord Byron

They look'd up to the sky whose floating glow

Spread like a rosy ocean, vast and bright;

They gazed at the glittering sea below,

Whence the broad moon rose circling into sight;

They heard the waves splash, and the wind so low,

And saw each other's dark eyes darting light

Into each other - and beholding this,

Their lips drew near, and clung into a kiss;

A long, long kiss, a kiss of youth, and love,

And beauty, all concentrating like rays

Into one focus, kindled from above;

Such kisses as belong to early days,

Where heart, and soul, and sense, in concert move,

And the blood's lava, and the pulse a blaze,

Each kiss a heart-quake, - for a kiss's strength,

I think, must be reckon'd by its length.

FEBRUARY: By Peter M. Bayne

Christ has come, the Light of the World.

Long ages may yet elapse before his beams have reduced the world to order and beauty, and clothed a purified humanity with light as with a garment.

But he has come:

The Revealer of the snares and chasms that lurk in darkness

The Rebuker of every evil thing that prowls by night

The Stiller of the storm-winds of passion

The Quickener of all that is wholesome

The Adorner of all that is beautiful

The Reconciler of contradictions

The Harmonizer of discord

The Healer of diseases

The Savior from sin

He has come!

The Torch of truth

The Anchor of hope

The Pillar of faith

The Rock for strength

The Refuge for security

The Fountain for refreshment

The Vine for gladness

The Rose for beauty

The Lamb for tenderness

The Friend for counsel

The Brother for love

Jesus Christ has trod this world. The trace of the Divine footsteps will never be obliterated. And those Divine footsteps were the footsteps of a Man! The example of Christ is such as men can follow.

On! until mankind wears his image!

On! toward yon summit on which stands,

not an angel,

not a disembodied spirit,

not an abstract of ideal and unattainable virtue,

But The Man, Jesus Christ.

MARCH: Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice

The quality of mercy is not strain'd

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

On the place beneath. It is twice blest.

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

T'is mightiest in the mightiest. It becomes

The throned monarch better than his crown.

His scepter shows the force of temporal power,

The attribute to awe and majesty

Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings.

But mercy is above this sceptered sway.

It is enthroned in the hearts of kings. It is

An attribute to God himself. And earthly power

Doth then show likest God's

When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, O man,

Though justice be thy plea, consider this:

That in the course of justice, none of us

Should see salvation. We do pray for mercy.

And that same prayer doth teach us all

To render the deeds of mercy.

APRIL: Psalm 130

Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Yahweh.

Lord, hear my voice!

Let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplication.

If thou, Yahweh, shouldst mark iniquity,

Lord, who could stand?

But there is forgiveness with thee

That thou mayest be feared.

I wait for Yahweh. My soul doth wait,

And in his Word do I hope.

My soul waits for Yahweh more than the watchmen for the morning;

Yes, more than the watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, trust in Yahweh!

For with Yahweh there is lovingkindness

And with him is plenteous redemption.

And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

MAY: Donne's Holy Sonnet # 6

This is my play's last scene, here heavens appoint

My pligrimage's last mile; and my race

Idly, yet quickly run, hath this last pace,

My span's last inch, my minute's latest point,

And gluttonous death will instantly unjoint

My body and soul, and I shall sleep a space,

But my ever-waking part shall see that face,

Whose fear already shakes my every joint:

Then, as my soul to heaven, her first seat, takes flight,

And earth-born body in the earth shall dwell,

So, fall my sins, that all may have their right,

To where they're bred, and would press me, to hell.

Impute me righteous, thus purg'd of evil,

For thus I leave the world, the flesh, the devil.

JUNE: Browning's Sonn Frm the Portugeuse # 38

First time he kissed me, he but only kissed

The fingers of this hand wherewith I write;

And ever since, it grew more clean and white,

Slow to world-greetings, quick with its "Oh, list"

When angels speak. A ring of amethyst

I could not wear here,plainer to my sight,

Than that first kiss. The second passed in height

The first, and sought the forehead, and half-missed

Half falling on the hair. O beyond meed!

That was the chrism of love, which love's own crown

With sanctifying sweetness did precede.

The third upon my lips was folded down

In perfect purple state. Since when, indeed,

I have been proud and said, "My love, my own."

JULY: Psalm 46

A Psalm of the Sons of Korah

God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear

Though the earth gives way

Though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea;

Though its waters roar and foam

Though the mountains tremble at their swelling.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God

The holy habitation of the Most High;

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved!

God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

He utters his voice, the earth melts.

Yahweh of Hosts is with us.

The God of Jacob is our refuge.

Come behold the works of Yahweh

How he brought desolations on the earth!

He makes wars to cease to the ends of the earth He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; He burns the chariots with fire.

Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations.

I will be exalted in the earth.

Yahweh of Hosts is with us.

The God of Jacob is our refuge.

AUGUST: Donne's Holy Sonnet # 14

Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurped town, to another due,

Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end.

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betrothed unto your enemy:

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

SEPTEMBER: Donne's Hymn to God the Father

Wilt thou forgive that sin where I begun,

Which is my sin, though it were done before?

Wilt thou forgive that sin through which I run,

And do run still: though still I do deplore?

When thou hast done, thou hast not done,

For I have more.

Wilt thou forgive that sin by which I have won

Others to sin? and made my sin their door?

Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun

A year or two; but wallowed in a score?

When thou hast done, thou hast not done,

For I have more.

I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun

My last thread, I shall perish on the shore;

Swear by thyself that at my death, thy Son

Shall shine as he shines now and heretofore;

And, having done that, thou hast done,

I fear no more.

OCTOBER:  epic fail month! 

NOVEMBER:  From Helen Keller's Autobiography

Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life's shut gate.  Behond there is light and music and sweet comapnionship, but I may not enter.  Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way.  Fain would I question his imperious decree for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate.  But my tongue will not utter the bitter and futile words which rise to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears.  Silence sits immense upon my soul.  Then comes hope with a smile and whispers, "There is joy in self-forgetfulness!"  So, I try to make the light in other's eyes my sun, the music in other's ears my symphony, the smile on other's lips my happiness.

DECEMBER:  Edna St. Vincent Millay

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

Imiss him in the weeping of the rain;

I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

The old snows melt from every mountainside

And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;

But last year's bitter loving must remain

Heaped upon my heart, and my old thoughts abide.

There are a hundred places where I fear

To go - so with his memory they brim.

And entering with relief some quiet place

Where never fell his foot or shone his face

I say, "There is no memory of him here!"

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.